My Dilemma Today – To Post or Not to Post.

My dilemma now – to post or not to post.  I feel awful. I want to put something in writing.  I need to do it.  At the same time, I wonder if I should post it.   Can you understand this?  If you do, then you know how I feel.

I had a horrible day. I tried to get hold of Dr. H to tell him that my pharmacy has already got the Armour Natural Thyroid.  He is not in the office this week, so I was told to try to reach him by email.  I did, and he answered right away, but he does not agree with me.  He thinks we need to wait to change medications until it is time, towards the end of the month. The new dosage will not kick in until then.  But we are only changing the brand, not the dosage! I am not too happy with the compound because you never know if they do it correctly, even if the pharmacy is the best.  Some people think alike. On the other hand, I also understand that we may have to wait until it is time to have the dosage changed along with the brand.

Why all of a sudden do I feel so down?  I was happy yesterday, as Ludy is back and she rushed here, even with a sore throat, to help me.  With her back in town I feel more “protected”!  So, why this anguish? I was so upset after I got Dr. H’s message that I sent an urgent mail to Dr. P and asked him to call the pharmacy and order the Armour Thyroid for me. He did right away, but Guido has persuaded me not to take it until Dr. H gives the go ahead.  He may be right, but I wish I could do something now, even if we don’t know if the change will help.  Dr. H does not think it will, but then, what?

Do I feel better for having written this?  I don’t know, but it may help me sleep better, as I may be more relaxed.  And I really don’t care much if people read it.  It is mainly for myself, to vent my frustrations and to be less irritable.  Poor Guido has to put up with a lot these days…and I cannot help it!


About martisima

After over 50 years of teaching literature to undergraduate and graduate students, I feel I have earned my retirement (it happened when I was 72, five years ago). I do miss the classroom, however, but not the meetings and all other requirements of the profession. I love teaching, and wish I could still do it. But now I read for pleasure, and watch films, and listen to all kinds of music (no TV, though). I love to travel, and hope I can resume doing it soon. I need to get over my health issues caused by thyroid surgery three years ago!
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5 Responses to My Dilemma Today – To Post or Not to Post.

  1. Of course you should write! If all it does is make you feel better, it is worth it. And you know some of us read it. I hope you do feel better. Everyone has ups and downs, and you have more than the norm right now. So it’s not odd you’d feel better one day and worse the next. I hope today is much better, and I really hope you can go to the higher dosage soon! It’s hard to even follow what is going on with the medication, all a bit confusing.

  2. Leopoldo says:

    Veo que todavia sientes que necesitas justificacion para escribir en tu blog! Justamente, lean o no lo que escribes, queda para vos y futuras generaciones saber como te sentias en ese momento. Tienes que recordar que lo que se deja en estos lugares no se borra mas…. y puedes volver vos o tus descendientes a sentir lo que sentias..
    Un abrazo

  3. Anna Amato says:

    Write, please write. It’s not unusual that you would feel ‘protected’ with Ludy back but you don’t feel well and want to feel well so that I don’t think it’s unusual that you’re having ups and downs. Off to class now but I’ll be back on later -write please. By the way, at the Jersey Shore – here – if you ask someone for directions or if they like a particular store, the answer always begins with ‘I want to say,,,’

  4. martisima says:

    Today was even worse, but there is very little I can do. I can only wait, and I am getting tired already. One year in a life when you are still young may not amount to much, but when it happens at almost 76, you feel cheated. There are not too many years left, so I want to enjoy them ALL NOW!

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