It is already the 26 of August, and I am still in limbo, one year and one month after thyroid and parathyroid surgery.
Instead of getting better I have been getting progressively worse, so much so that today Guido had to cancel my yearly physical which was scheduled for 2:00pm. I cannot get up and shower and get dressed until around 5:00pm, and I am tired and irritable and nervous and angry and… and yes, I feel bad and guilty because Guido has been doing all the shopping these days, and he is not well himself and also not accustomed to do it. I can give him lists, but very often I go to the grocery store without a list. I write “fruit” and I know what I mean. It is not easy.
To make matters worse, I had blood work for the physical, and it showed my TSH levels (thyroid-stimulating hormone) somewhat lower than before, which could be good. But then the ones I had at LabCorp showed the same TSH at 10 an 20 points higher! How to decide which one is correct (even though many say numbers do not matter, and that we are being bound by the directives of TSH-obsessed doctors)? There were two different labs involved – one showed lower levels and the other one showed much higher ones. When I asked Dr. Hedaya’s nurse, she told me that the results will vary within days. I agree it may be that, but – so much?
I think I have found the solution. I put this to her: what if I go to your office to have blood drawn and you send the same blood to two different labs? She thought it was a good idea, and this is what I did on Tuesday. When I go to see Dr. H on Monday we may have the results and an answer to this mystery. I had to pay for something that I could have done for free, but this was the easiest and more secure path. What is money to us if we cannot spend it on pleasures? We might as well get the best possible health care — if that exists…
I may also seem obsessed with this, and I am — but it is only natural. It has been one year and one month after surgery and I am worse now than before. I appreciate friends more than ever now, and I can openly declare that the whole meals we very often get for dinner are a true lifesaver. Today’s delivery was greatly treasured, after having gone through a rather nasty day, also due to some mortifying and senseless happenings. Thank you, my guardian angels. You help me restore my faith in humanity and in true friendship!