More Thyroid Issues…

It is already the 20th of September, and I should be getting better after having taken the increased thyroid dosage for 20 days. Unfortunately, it is not meant to be… If I call the doctor, I know he will tell me to wait until the end of the month.  But – I am tired of waiting.

Guido is helping a lot, and without him I would not be able to cook at all. I was quite upset today when I went to the trash and almost threw one of my gloves there, and as I was telling Guido about it, I threw the other one in!  Then, I asked him to help me find the cheese in the refrigerator because I had looked all over and could not find it.  He looked and could not find it either – I had already taken it out a few seconds before. These are only two minor incidents among all the ones that are happening to me daily.

I get worried, and Guido tries to comfort me and he tells me not to worry too much, that it is not a big deal.  I wonder when I will have enough energy to go the grocery store.  I have many helpers –Guido, Ludy, R, Peapod. Safeway, but it is not the same giving them a list. If I go I don’t need a list.  I know what to buy when I see it!  It is driving me crazy!

Valeria will be here on Friday, and I know she will be cooking for us, as she always does.  It will be a relief, but not enough. We do need to start thinking seriously about moving to San Francisco to be close to our daughters.  My health is becoming worse rather than better, and although I am still hopeful that it will get better eventually, it is taking much longer than I had expected. If it were up to me, I would move now.

I don’t want to pass on my pessimism on to anyone who reads this, but I cannot pretend to be optimistic at this moment. I am not!  And I need to record it.

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About martisima

After over 50 years of teaching literature to undergraduate and graduate students, I feel I have earned my retirement (it happened when I was 72, five years ago). I do miss the classroom, however, but not the meetings and all other requirements of the profession. I love teaching, and wish I could still do it. But now I read for pleasure, and watch films, and listen to all kinds of music (no TV, though). I love to travel, and hope I can resume doing it soon. I need to get over my health issues caused by thyroid surgery three years ago!
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9 Responses to More Thyroid Issues…

  1. Anna Amato says:

    Thank you for posting – I want to know what’s happening in your life whether it seems pessimistic to you or not – your feelings are important. And this has to be frustrating. I’m sorry it’s taking so long to feel any improvement at all.

  2. martisima says:

    And thanks to you, dear Anna, for being so supportive! I am ver frustrated and writing how I feel helps…

  3. Rosana Francescato says:

    I know you’ll get better! It’s just taking too long. I hope Hedaya has some ideas about how to help you.

  4. Rosana Francescato says:

    And of course, it would be great to have you here!

    Hey, I see you have a new photo on your blog. Did they change it again, or did you add it?

  5. martisima says:

    Hedaya seems to be interested in making $$$ — he tells me to go to a nutritionist (his daughter), a therapist (his wife); he charges for every phone call and email(even though his is yahoo)… so I will see him when I am ready.

    And yes, I went to “Appearance” and changed it several times. Guess I’ll choose one now that suits my mood.

  6. Valerie says:

    I agree, it would be great to have you here! I know it’s hard to see this now, but the thing about throwing the glove away is really pretty funny if you try to step back and imagine how you would react if it were something you were watching in a movie. Not easy, but maybe try to look at it that way? I look forward to being able to spend a little time with you. See you on Friday, and don’t worry about getting any special foods for me – I can shop once I’m there!

  7. martisima says:

    Now that you mention it, I should have laughed when I threw the glove in, but I was worried instead.

    You ask me not to worry about getting any special foods for you? Are you serious? You know me better… 😉

  8. Dear Martha,

    With no positive developments in more than four years, I have adopted a phrase of local Portuguese friends in similar circumstances who answer every query about current conditions with “Na forma do costume. ” And so it is: the wonder is that I also find some strange truth in a verse of Rilke: Is not impermanence the very fragance of our days? (But to the idiocy that would return the country to Bush & Co. I prefer “Allá ellos: con su pan de lo coman.” ). Paciencia y barajar, que las pugas son muchas y la noche es larga… Como ves, me devuelvo en Saancho Panza.

  9. martisima says:

    Dear Richard,

    You have a way of saying things that is unique and uniquely yours! I love all the quotes, but the Portuguese one is my favorite, perhaps because I had never heard it before.

    Gracias, querido amigo!

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