Another rainy day, which does not mean much to me. Rain, sun, cold, hot – it is all the same, as I rarely venture out. I do try. Maybe going as far as the mailbox, or a walk around the back yard. Great! It is more than being in bed all day, but I still get tired.
I will not continue to complain or say that I am depressed, irritable, angry, and frustrated. You all know it (and I have said it). And I have not written much lately because I no longer know what to say, and I am not myself lately.
Rosana was here at the beginning of the month, and Valeria is here now. The more I see them the more I realize how much they help in every way, and the more I want to move to be with them in San Francisco.
Andrés has talked to Guido and is helping to make him amenable to the idea of moving. Guido claims it is too much work for us. But… we would not do it all ourselves, naturally! There are too many books, he says. But… do we need them all? The equipment in the “music room” is unique. But… it can be moved if well packed, or even replaced.
All these “buts” are merely excuses. Maybe Guido cannot face the idea of a move, as I think he told Andrés. But… I also think it is because if he ever gets well he can always go back to teach occasionally. They do want him back for a course now and then at the university of Maryland. But… there are schools of architecture in SF, and they may want someone like Guido.
The boat? We can sell it and buy another one there. There are lots of marinas in the SF area, and the bay there is much more picturesque than the Chesapeake. Besides, we have already gone around the Chesapeake for many, many years. But… Guido will not settle for anything other than a Grand Banks 32, very difficult to come by as they don’t build that one any longer…
Yes– many “buts” – some only excuses, but deep down is the fear of the unknown, I think. What is there to fear, I ask? Nothing, as far as I am concerned. And we’d love to be close to our daughters. I know. We miss them. I, for one, am quite ready to pack up and go West.
My last “but”… we are getting older, and soon we will really not be able to contemplate a move to San Francisco. So, let us do it now!