This is the second time I write today. Sometimes I feel a strong urge to do it. And, why not? It helps me to get it out of my system.
I got hit again by another ophthalmic/ocular migraine, just as we were about to have dinner, which Guido had to finish cooking. Two in one day! But now I know what to do — close my eyes and rest until it is over, about 10 minutes. It still is somewhat scary, to tell the truth. It leaves me exhausted.
Then, the front door started getting hits too – from “trick or treaters.” In the past few years we hardly ever had any children coming to our door. Today was an exception, and we had many, from some who could barely walk to teenagers dressed to kill (well, almost). There must have been a wave of new young neighbors recently.
My Web group is very special. I had posted a message telling them about my ophthalmic/ocular migraines, and I received many replies. It is comforting to know that I am not alone with these incidents, and also that so many care, even if they don’t know me!
To further stress the importance of this support group, I am copying a message and one of the replies this person got. The message could have been written by me, as you’ll see. You can also feel the writer’s distress, very much like mine. I have their permission to quote them without giving their names. And you will also learn that I am not the only one complaining about doctors. If you could read all the messages, you would realize it is not just my doctors who are incompetent…
— On Thu, 10/21/10, wrote:
Subject: [thyroidless] don’t wanna!
Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2010, 10:29 AM
I have a confession…..I’m overdue for my blood test. I don’t wanna go! and you can’t make me! – – can you tell I’m a teacher and work with kids?
After my not so happy but not unexpected last doctor appointment I just don’t want another blood test. That means more results. That means another appointment to find out what now. That means another disappointing doctor appointment. That means more confusion and being upset. That means no more answers. That means still feeling like crap and no one (outside of you all) understands. That means more crap at work and feeling tired, sick and incapable. That means still feeling behind even though just getting through the day felt like I should get a gold star. That means……………………
I wish I had a gapping wound. Maybe then people would “SEE IT” and understand. Don’t ask me how I am. You don’t want to hear it. You think I am whining again. I’m fat therefore I’m just lazy instead of tired all the time. I’m 40 but feel 100. I don’t want to always be the one talking about aches and pains but between sleep, work and what else is there right now.
I’m unhappy and feel crappy. I know I need to get the test but just haven’t been able to make myself go. I’ve been an extremely hard worker at my job for years. Suddenly that means nothing and it is as if I’m a no good slacker. Me written up? Are you kidding me?
I knew you guys would listen. I felt like I had been lurking and hiding from you.
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: Re: [thyroidless] don’t wanna!
Date: Sun, 31 Oct 2010 13:38:27 -0700 (PDT)
I so feel your pain and can relate. I haven’t felt the same since my thyroidectomy a year ago. I ache all over; I am tired, foggy, have no energy. No doctors listen to us – it is the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced in my life. Or what they do hear from us they think it’s in our head and therefore they offer no help!!!!!
So, now you know, and you understand … I hope!