Round and Round and Round I Go Again…

Here we go again.  I mean I go again. But I have not written much precisely because I do not want to go again round and round.

The bottom line is – Dr. Pennington and his nurse messed up my latest blood tests. Dr. Sivieri got quite angry and was screaming about it. I sent a harsh email to Dr. P and he replied at once and apologized, admitting to some mistakes, but blaming the lab for others.  They could repeat some of the tests without needing more blood, thanks to our screaming (the squeaky wheel gets the oil- or el que no llora no mama). But the harm was done.

What happens is a a true catch 22.  They do the blood tests. Then, they almost always have to adjust the medication dosage. Next, I have to wait four weeks to have another test to see if the new dosage worked.  But– if I wait four weeks, I run out of medication, which lasts one month. If they give it to me for two months, I am left with lots of extras (which is exactly what I have now).  We have a very good drug plan, but it is very confusing to have so many leftovers, which I save just in case, as is my bad habit with everything.  That’s why the house is full of junk!

This time we waited three weeks, and it already showed I was getting too much thyroid medication, so they lowered it.  Dr. S has also recommended support medication for my adrenals, which the saliva test showed are quite low. Adrenal insufficiency  is a typical consequence of thyroid failure, among so many other side effects I will not start listing here.

If I have stopped writing it was because I am tired of repeating the same song every time. Now, I have left a considerable amount of time in between blogs, so I can start whining again.

I don’t like it either, but what else can I do?  I am at the mercy of my body, and it is not behaving. I am tired, anxious, nervous, not sleeping well, feeling like a zombie during the day, not able to function at a bare minimum level…  Sorry I cannot give you better news. I know many are getting eager to see me, but please understand I cannot see anybody yet.  Poor guardian angels Ludy and Ramon come every week, bring me food, and leave, sometimes without seeing me at all.  The same for my good neighbor and for Anna.  At least, they do look after me and don’t care if I am awake, or if I say hello from upstairs in my pajamas in the evening. I do get up, take a shower and get dressed, no matter what time it is (generally at 5:30PM). Then, I prepare dinner with lots of help from Guido, who also takes care of the dishes and pots afterward, and of unloading the dishwasher.  He also prepares my breakfast and lunch all by himself, even if he is not well,  something people have tended to forget.  He is better than I am now, for sure, but he is still sick.

Now, after dinner, I feel more relieved at having been able to go through yet another day with not too many accidents. I only spilled a cup of coffee and got burnt twice lightly with the pots while trying to cook or heat up the food.

We also heard an explosion yesterday and went through all the house, closets, garage and could not find the source. It was not until I went to my bathroom and smelled something funny and opened a tiny closet there that we found that a spray had exploded and messed it all up.  It is still messy. I shall wait for the cleaning woman to do it when she comes. I cannot face that!

Small things bother me very much, too much, truly.  But I cannot help it.

Well, now you know that I am still sick. I appreciate your concern, but when you ask how I am every time you write or call, I feel like screaming.  So, I do not answer.  Now you know why. What can I say?    It  is  still  the  same,  and  I  am  not  well…

Believe me –   I, too, wish it were different!


About martisima

After over 50 years of teaching literature to undergraduate and graduate students, I feel I have earned my retirement (it happened when I was 72, five years ago). I do miss the classroom, however, but not the meetings and all other requirements of the profession. I love teaching, and wish I could still do it. But now I read for pleasure, and watch films, and listen to all kinds of music (no TV, though). I love to travel, and hope I can resume doing it soon. I need to get over my health issues caused by thyroid surgery three years ago!
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