And the days linger on, and the year does too – January, February, March already. It is Sunday – gray and rainy, but it really makes no difference in our lives. When it is sunny and mild I still cannot go out. Some well meaning (I hope) people tell me to go out for a walk, or to our back yard and sit in the sun. Sorry, friends. I still cannot do it. When I can, be assured I’ll be the first to go out with no prodding!
Ludy and Jean-Paul were here yesterday, bearing gifts from Paris (Elli sent some Jeff de Bruges chocolate – she is one of the few who remembers exactly what I like best!), flowers, and food from Whole Foods (once again, Ludy is among the few who know exactly what I need). JP had not seen me in ages, and he asked me what hurt. He also commented on how well I looked. When I gave him a funny look, he hurriedly said that his father also looked well but was very weak. I told him about the site “But you don’t look sick”. So many need to be reminded of this… Nothing hurts, which is great, but that doesn’t mean I am not sick. Fortunately, he understands! Not everybody does.
When someone equates her being very busy with my very weak state and her lack of time with my lack of energy – that really takes the cake! “Busyness” is a state mainly of one’s creation; “weakness” a health condition which cannot be avoided. Someone once told me that some people cannot understand anyone who is sick if they enjoy good health. This is probably the case in many instances. Those people will never understand what it is like to be confined to bed or to indoors. They can only be more sensitive if they themselves suffer from something, as is the case with many I know. Others have suggested that some people are afraid of getting close to the ones who are sick. Fear of contagion? Lack of empathy? Who knows… I think they themselves don’t know. They can’t feel, either, locked up as they are in their own world.
How to make some understand that what they hear or see or are told does not relate to me? I understand how they want to help, but someone’s solution does not apply to me, especially when that someone has something totally different from what I have. Even when it is similar, no two cases are the same and each one needs a particular treatment. That’s why I also appreciate the Yahoo group I belong to, “Thyroidless”. Almost everyone there has a different story and a different treatment. And most have been told the same I have: “You should see a therapist”. Doctors, “endocriminologists” (thus called by our group), and even friends suggest this, not realizing that what we have is the lack of function of the second most important gland in our body… We get stressed out by all the crackbrained comments. And our brain is functioning well, thank you! 😉
I have been getting many great tips, especially on avoiding stress, which is something people cause without realizing they do. A great site is this one: http://thehealthyskeptic.org/9-steps-to-perfect-health-6-manage-your-stress –
Try to read it all. This is one part I appreciate:
“The first step is to avoid unnecessary stress. This often seems obvious, but it isn’t. It’s easy to overlook habitual patterns of thought and behavior that cause unnecessary stress above and beyond the stress we can’t avoid. Here are a few guidelines for how to avoid this kind of stress:
* Learn to say “no”. Know your limits, and don’t take on projects or commitments you can’t handle.
* Avoid people who stress you out. You know the kind of person I’m talking about. Drama kings and queens. People who are constantly taking and never giving. Limit your time with these people or avoid them entirely.
* Manage your time. Poor time management is a major cause of stress. When you’re overwhelmed with commitments and stretched too thin, it’s difficult to stay present and relaxed. Careful planning and establishing boundaries with your time can help.”
I also need to put things in perspective. I have noticed that in Facebook many tend to be superficial, and I take that as an antidote to the current news. Still, I cannot put these aside. They bug me, and I wish I could do more to help. But some things are out of my control. If I were better I may be able to do more. At least I have two daughters who are working for good causes and helping others!
I was asked to post this in my Facebook status: “Charlie Sheen 47, is all over the news because he’s a celebrity drug addict. While Andrew Wilfahrt 31, Brian Tabada 21, Rudolph Hizon 22, Chauncy Mays 25 are all soldiers who gave their lives this week with no media mention. Honor THEM by re-posting this status”. Hope quite a few are doing it… They deserve it!
Let’s concentrate on being better and helping others in the process. This is my strongest wish at this time, and when I get better I’ll be able to do much more about it (notice I did not say ‘IF”)!