I am grieving.
It is not easy to control the pain, especially during the weekend, when I expect the phone to ring and hear Thelma’s voice.
And since I am not well it hits me even harder.
And many have forgotten my pain, as if it had been temporary. Fortunately, there are still some who continue to comfort me, to call or write and ask how I am doing. But mostly it is Facebook “friends” – they are virtual friends, people I don’t know personally, but who seem to understand how I feel, and whose words cause me to feel better. They even send me songs! And they are quite a few. I am lucky to have them, as well as some “real” friends.
Thelma and I shared many things – daughters who are still friends; recipes; our time together at the University of Illinois; but especially books. When Thelma had her hip replacement recently, I introduced her to Deborah Crombie, and sent her all 13 Crombie’s books. She loved them. So, when she got sick, I managed to send her Crombie’s latest one, No Mark Upon Her, signed. Then, Lee Child’s The Affair came out on the 27th of September, and I sent it to her that very same day. She had introduced him to me. I don’t think she managed to finish it… It is very, very sad…
I am getting worse, not better, and nobody knows why. I will have more blood tests on Thursday, and then next week see Dr Sivieri to discuss them.
More of the same, always. Tests. Wait. Change the dosage. Add or drop more supplements. More tests. Wait again. Check adrenal function once more… a true merry-go-round. That’s probably why I am dizzy too… 😦
Thank goodness for Kindle books (I have over 300 now – as I am in bed mostly I cannot read heavy books), and the “squeeze box” with almost 100 pieces – from tango to folklore to opera to jazz to country to classic – I love it! I can also listen to the radio from all over the world! A great gadget, which I can use when I am in bed with headphones (which is most of the time)!
I have not been out of the house in two or three weeks. I don’t even remember. But I think it was one medication that made me worse, in addition to the still incorrect dosage of thyroid supplements. The weather seems to be fine now, after so much rain and unbelievable thunderstorms. But I cannot stand too much light, so I prefer it when it is cloudy — if I go out.
Guido continues to cook and do the grocery shopping. Where can we find decent organic fruit? It is almost impossible, and that’s what we like best! We had to throw away figs, plums, and even oranges today, and could not find organic strawberries or organic Fuji apples at Balducci’s!!!
There is always a bright side – the silver lining, and this time it applies to another dear friend, Elli Dumont, who is recovering quite well. What they did, and how they did it can only happen in France! If she allows me, I’ll write about it soon.
It seems that I need to have a major illness to get results… What a drag!!! And now I need to stop and lie down again. The story of my life for these past two years and three months. I do hope to be better when Rosana comes in November for Guido’s 80th birthday, so we can celebrate it!