I had written these thoughts yesterday, but my eyes were so blurry with tears that I could not edit it or post it. They are still clear today (so far) so I hurry to post it now…
First of all, I want to thank all the friends who sent me kind words of support and prayers for my brother’s health. They also wanted to know more about him and get an update. He is my only and younger brother, by two and a half years. This makes him 75. He was in intensive care for 24 days. Now he is in what they call “intermediate” care. I call every day. It is not easy, as I am so far away and sick and not able to travel. He has been on dialysis for some time and had complications. It is touch and go now. One day he is somewhat better, the next he is worse. It is incredibly frustrating. That makes me appreciate your messages all the more, as well as the fact that you cared to read and comment about it!
Rosana was able to meet her goal for today’s Solarthon and even went beyond her goal. She is up in roofs, installing solar panels for folks who cannot afford to pay a huge electricity bill. Thanks to our friends who helped her reach her goal. She and the families who are being helped are in your debt! As se wrote in Facebook, “Thanks to everyone who contributed to my Solarthon fund! I got to $4,800 (that’s before the matching funds from Adobe contributors) and was the top fundraiser for the THIRD year in a row! I couldn’t have done it without you. We installed solar on 13 houses — I don’t have all the stats except I remember them saying it’s like planting 5,000 trees in terms of carbon offset. Photos to come next weekend.”
As for myself, all I can say is that everyone is baffled. I am getting worse, and also have become hyperthyroid. How can that be if I have no thyroid? Doctors have been reducing the thyroid medication dosage, and I am now down to 50mcg, but all the tests show elevated thyroid hormone. So, let’s see what they say. One, Dr P, suggested that a piece of the thyroid got loose during surgery and is now traveling though my body. I am not joking. I asked him what that piece had been doing all these three years since surgery. He had no answer. Besides, the “endocriminologist” he recommended did an ultrasound during two separate visits, and proclaimed the site totally clean. There was no thyroid residue now, and none before to have been able to dislodge and travel. Then, every time they lower the dosage we have to wait at least six weeks to see if it has had any effect. I am at the waiting stage now… Maybe a new doctor can help, as the others have given up on me. We shall see.
We wanted to go to the grocery store today. Guido can’t go on his own any longer, and neither can I. It has been two weeks now and we have not been able to go to Balducci’s, our main grocery store. A few days ago, one of our guardian angels took it upon himself to go to Trader Joe’s. He remembered what we wanted in the past and got us exactly what we needed. He doesn’t want to have his name disclosed, so he’ll remain anonymous. Our thanks to him go public, though, as well as to Anna, who brought us wonderful lentil soup, home made tomato sauce, and an assortment of Italian pastries. In addition to Mercedes’s gazpacho, we were able to eat better for a couple of days!!!
Today I spent all day crying, not because I wanted to be in sync with the weather. I wonder why so many songs refer to rain outdoors as well as in one’s heart and soul. Remember Paul Verlaine’s poem?
Il pleure dans mon coeur
Comme il pleut sur la ville ;
Quelle est cette langueur
Qui pénètre mon coeur ?
And then, there is the song in Spanish that I remeber very well:
Llueve sobre el campo,
llueve en la ciudad;
y también en mi alma,
But in my case it was precisely because it was so gray that I decided to get up and go to the store. I can’t stand too much light. It hurts my eyes. At 3:00pm, when I could get up, I made it as far as my sweater, though. And that really hit me hard. It made me go back to bed and continue crying… 😦
The only thing that helps is that Valeria is coming next week and can stay for several days. I will take advantage of her visit to the most!
Thanks again for all the support you are giving me!!!! I need it…