Monday Musings…

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Why do people make resolutions at the beginning of what is arbitrarily called a “new” year?  Who decides when a year starts? Or a week?  Or a day?  As if from one minute to the next everything will change…  Why not set goals every day, regardless of the time frame?  It still baffles me.  I am sure there will be many explanations for this, but I still don’t get, and will not, for sure.

And since some are asking, I will now give a brief statement of my health problems and our current “state of affairs” .

In case you have forgotten, I had a thyroidectomy and removal of two parathyroid glands on 30 July 2009.  Since then, I have never been able to feel as before the surgery. I measure my life in terms of B.S. (not what you think, but it could be applied) and A.S. – Before and After Surgery.  Until that fateful day I had never been in a hospital nor sick in bed.  Now I can hardly get up. And please don’t tell me to take vitamins. If that were all I needed, I’d be dancing now!

I had made a list of all the thyroid medications I took all along, since the very beginning.  It always amounts to the same: I have blood tests.  They show my thyroid levels are off – always, so far.  They are either too low or too high.  Every time I have to adjust the medication, wait six or nine weeks, and then have another test.  Now you can also see why it is taking so long for me to get well or even better.  The time between the tests and the new medication dosage and the new tests is by itself long, and in a way accounts for the length of my “ill-being”… 😦

Last week we went to Baltimore again to see the endocrinologist (ugh), and he was surprised that I am now hyperthyroid rather than hypo.  But it happens all the time, as in a seesaw.  And that is also why I have started to be a recluse.  I don’t feel like seeing people, even friends.  I am ill tempered, angry, frustrated, and I take it out on Guido and my daughters.  They are the only ones who can take it.  No matter how much some try to draw me out of my shell, it is not working, and the more they try the more it makes me feel worse.  It is very difficult to explain, but I am trying and hoping this time many will understand…

And now we have started the slow process of our move to San Francisco, where we’ll be near our daughters.  Being in a city may also help, as I may be able to walk to places or just walk, unlike the suburbs here!  And I may also find better doctors. Valeria has a cold and a cough, and her doctor from San Francisco has helped her at once!  It will not be an easy process, as housing in SF is very tight, but eventually we’ll be able to find the right place.  When we do, we’ll be ready, as our finances are already taken care of there, and what Valeria is doing here at home is unbelievable.  She has managed to get rid of tons of junk so far, and she has been here for only a week.  She’ll be staying until the end of February, so by then we will have this house ready for the market!

In the process of “cleaning” she has managed to find two DVDs with Cortazar’s letters and the interview I did with him, transcribed by Rosana. I had been looking for both for a very long time!!!!  I am not even going to go into what else she found and threw away because it is embarrassing. True, we have been in this house for 32 years, and the fact that it is big has contributed to the “collection” of so much, but it has really been hoarding. Since the place we’ll be moving to will be necessarily much smaller, this “cleaning” is absolutely essential.  Actually, the hoarding should never have happened, but obviously, I am to blame for it.

It makes me feel better having written all this, as it needed to be stated.  All I ask now is that if you respond, you do it after having carefully read what I have written.  And please do not ask too many questions, which I can’t answer or I am not willing to answer. This is all I can tell you now. Thanks for listening!

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About martisima

After over 50 years of teaching literature to undergraduate and graduate students, I feel I have earned my retirement (it happened when I was 72, five years ago). I do miss the classroom, however, but not the meetings and all other requirements of the profession. I love teaching, and wish I could still do it. But now I read for pleasure, and watch films, and listen to all kinds of music (no TV, though). I love to travel, and hope I can resume doing it soon. I need to get over my health issues caused by thyroid surgery three years ago!
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One Response to Monday Musings…

  1. Nichols,Geraldine C says:

    Hola Marta, tu extensa nota es otra forma de limpieza de fondo, te diste cuenta? (Confesar tus pecados, etc.) Tu mal humor es normalsimo, y en parte es tpico tb. del hipertiroidismo. Toda la gente de nuestra edad enfrenta la pesadilla de las cosas acumuladas, y si has vivido en la misma casa tantos aos, pues imposible no estar rodeada de cachivaches hasta el techo. (Y aun as, nos da vergenza, por ser quienes somos.) Los mismos libros son una montaa para nosotros (el verano pasado, cuando vaci mi despacho universitario, don casi todos los que haba all a la biblioteca de UF. Por suerte los aceptaron, porque pienso que pronto dejarn de hacerlo.) Pero tengo otra biblioteca en casa, claro. Y Andrs, ni te cuento cmo junta las cosas. Les envidio la mudanza a San Francisco, no sabes cunto. (Digo, el ir a vivir all, no el ajetreo de la mudanza en s.) Si los mos no estuvieran ahora en Pekn, yo tambin estara haciendo lentos preparativos para mudarnos all. Aunque, a diferencia de ti, no tengo ninguna seguridad de que Jeremy y familia puedan volver a vivir de manera permanente en SF. Depende siempre de los contratos que consigue su compaa, y por un tiempo estaban escaseando en esa rea de California. Pero te cuento lo divertido: cuando hay trabajo en SF o sus alrededores, Jeremy es el nico de su nivel en la compaa que se pone contento, porque los gerentes de la construccin en general son hiperconservadores, y esa ciudad les da asco. Hay para todos los gustos en la vida, eh? Bueno, te mando un abrazo y saldame a Valeria y a Guido. Que este ao te traiga el cambio de salud que tanto te ha eludido! Geraldine ________________________________

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